Journey of a young adult (2011 Learning series)

During my teen-age years in the youth ministry, I had some opportunities to interact with members of the young adults ministry. I got this impression that they are mature, spiritually, emotionally, etc.. To me, many appeared to be accomplished, confident, and they seemed to know what they want in life or where they are headed. I wished then that I would soon grow up so that I would be like them, sure of many things in life.

 

Fast forward to today and I can only smile while I remember that not-so-wrong-yet-not-completely-right premise. I should have verbalized my thoughts then to some of the young adults I considered as a big brother or sister. They would have explained to me the real deal.

 

Why? Because being a young adult right now, I have a fair idea of where they were then.

 

Am I mature? In some aspects, yes but in many ways, no. Compared to a teen-ager who has not seen and experienced much of life, I might seem very mature. But as the years go by and as I go through different stages in life, I encounter new challenges. My reactions and response would sometimes be so immature I could only try to hide what I have done, even from myself. Experience, mine or that of other people, has taught me to be wise about my choices and to weigh everything from the eternal perspective.

 

Am I confident? More and more, only because I am learning to whom I should I put my confidence into. Otherwise, I would just be another insecure and afraid soul lost in a world that is full of people who have the external packaging of oozing confidence but are surely fighting their own battles of self doubt. There are days though when I falter, unsure of what step to take, especially if your heart and mind are clouded.

 

Do I know what I want out of life or where I am headed? In many ways, I am still that same girl who doesn’t know where she should go. However, God, life and people have tutored me well to put my trust in God, seek His will and act on what I think is best in whatever circumstance I am in. I wish making choices has become easier. But then, as a friend rightfully reminded me, if it happens, then it is God’s will, if not, then it is not.

 

My journey as a young adult is not yet over. There are hurdles to overcome, crossroads to walk through, fears to conquer but victories to celebrate and joys to cherish. Life does not end there though. There would other stages to go through if God would allow it to be so : to be  a wife, a mother, a grandmother, etc. Interspersed into these would be friendship, career and ministry. Above all these, I am glad to know that there is my Father who sees the big picture and holds my hand.

Local Christmas

Whenever I leave Manila during Christmas time, part of me does not want to go. Though this season brings a negative side, I remember the good things.

Gifts to open as early as December 1 if your company party falls on that day. Various savory foods to try because friends and family would utilize their culinary skills. Or enjoy the tasty meals offered by restaurants since the bosses or the company foots the bill.

What I delight in are reunions. People you have not seen for a long time would suddenly appear during get- togethers. The fellowship time during meal times is immensely filling, emotionally.

Then there is the joy of giving and receiving. I usually make a list of the people I want to bless and appreciate. Often, it can be challenging how you try to budget your resources and still make someone smile. The other side? I get suprised when someone hands me a gift since I often do not think that I would get something.

I will definitely not miss the daunting traffic, the crowd that fill many public spaces and the pollution that firecrackers bring (for New Year).

This year though, I will miss the people and celebrations. But then, one can be anywhere in the world and enjoy this important season. Just remember the reason we are celebrating and be with people you care for.

Merry Christmas! :)

Surreal yet real

The past week was partly surreal for me. The things I have been doing were so unlike of me. Joining a retreat even if I did not know anyone. Posed some probing questions to people I just met like my seatmate on the bus and my groupmates (on the first hour!). Asking a guy to have his picture taken with us because my groupmate likes him. Requesting the event photographer to take our group picture even if I do not know him. And etc etc.

On the other hand, I found something real. Apart from the spiritual renewal, what I like next about this retreat was that I met new friends. It was a prayer that I uttered to God in the past few months because I felt I needed new kindred souls. So I was happily surprised to receive a gift I did not expect to find.

I do not know if i would be able to completely write about what I have learned ove the week-end. I may not find the right words or sufficient time to write. For now, I would like to savor the reality that there are no accidents with God. And that He can orchestrate big and small incidents so that His purpose would be realized.

Being one with God

I do not really know what I was expecting when I joined the retreat. When asked directly by the facilitator, as part of the introductory questions during the first group session, I replied that I want to meet with God. It is not like I ran away from Him or that I got lost. It just that I wanted to have more of His peace and to lay down questions on His feet, hoping to find answers in return.

The past year has been filled with various transitions in several aspects of my life. The uncertainty in many things left me wondering which direction to take. Often, I just wanted to hear an audible voice from God so that I do not need to make any choice or so that my heart would settle down for knowinh what to expect. But of course, life does not happen this way. Most of the time, we find ourselves taking a step of faith. If we make a mistake, we take a step back then head towards a new direction.

Did I hear an audible voice on what to do? Yes and no. No, because God is still teaching me to wait for His revelations at His perfect timing. A day by day journey. Yes, because through His words and the messages of Godly people, I knew He is directing me to take a specific choice.

The year ends with at least one certainty. I know where to go back to when I return from my vacation. For that, I am thankful and at peace.

Just Praise Him

As we were told to break out from the group and spend some quiet time alone, I wondered what should be the things to pray for. I did come here to ask God for answers and revelations.

When I checked a message that just came in my phone, I read a forwarded Bible verse. Colossians 2:1-2 says "You have been raised to life with Christ. Now SET YOUR HEART on what is in heaven, where CHRIST RULES at God's right side. THINK ABOUT WHAT IS UP THERE, not about what is here on earth.

The assigned Scripture passages for the day were from Psalms 146-150 (www.fromgardentocity.com). These all talked about praising God.

So thus, I was reminded not to concern myself with the cares of the world. At least, not right now. Instead, let myself focus on God and praise Him for everything. Because of His attributes, His love, His creation, His being awesome and for His majesty.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that it is not about me. It is all about You. Praise be Your name!

Being courageous

If signing up to attend a retreat without confirming if anyone I know is coming means courage then I guess I have that. At least that is how a friend described my decision to join. I just felt that I needed to spend time away from many things and be with God.

The reality of my decision dawned on me when I arrived at the assembly area and saw almost a thousand participants and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. But I found myself smiling and amused with the adventure I got myself into once again. My rationalization? I wanted an encounter with God and thus, it does not matter if I am a stranger to everyone.

God, in His goodness, allowed me to get a seat beside someone who was also on her own. 2 minutes later, we were talking and laughing. And throughout the first day, I saw 3 other people I know. By then, I was already at home with my assigned groupmates.

I have always considered myself as shy around many people. I guess though that I have grown a lot since those days when I would just remain in my quiet corner. Or maybe, I just felt at home with fellow believers who gathered together to be one with God.

Being courageous takes time and learning. I know that I am still growing. I am joyful and grateful though for the little victories I am experiencing.

Omnium-Gatherum (Random Thoughts 12)

23. Just 23. Compare that with 46, 49, 80, 170 and 139, then the mixture of these two numbers seems paltry. What does 23 mean? The number of articles or entries I did for 2010. And that makes me a bit sad, realizing that I haven’t written that much this year. I know that I blog partly because I want to practice writing but another reason is it helps me remember good things that happened in my life.

 

O well. I do have a reason. 2010 brought about shoulder pains that hindered me from using the computer at home. Why? Because I wrote too much in 2008 and 2009 (170 and 139 entries, respectively). Which explains the pains.

 

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I read yesterday that the rains would continue on until May of 2011. Because of the La Niña phenomenon. So what happens to our summer then? Will we miss the heat that begins mid-March and continues on till late May? Probably not. But then, there wouldn’t be reason enough to enjoy the beaches and sea breezes. I remembered the people who got affected by Ondoy and realized what they must be feeling. Nervous whenever there is a hint of flooding. I would feel the same.

 

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Piolo Pascual officially opened the Christmas season in the Ayala malls two weeks ago. Together with Agot Isidro, they sang various Christmas melodies. Yeah, it was kinda early to a lot of people’s standards but here in the Philippines, it is just normal. We do have the longest Christmas season in the whole world. Christmas songs would start playing on the 1^st of September. Recently, Halloween  decors began sharing space with Christmas ornaments and trees.

 

I often feel the Christmas season when I sense the cooling of air, when the traffic worsens and when I see Christmas lights and poinsettia flowers all over the Ayala streets. December will begin next week. The get-together and eating will also commence!

 

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The last three evening had been a bit tiring as I packed and unpacked my father’s bags. Trying to make sure that the suitcases won’t go beyond the allowed weight. Checking if the bottles are well-protected, the medicine well-packed and the space rightly utilized.

 

Interesting what a visiting Filipino has in his bags when he goes back abroad. Dried herbs, fish and squid. Favorite soap brands. Carica Virgin coconut oil and toothpaste. Chinese medicine. Goldilocks polvoron, chocnut, Mulach ensamada, boy bawang and of course, the Magic Sing. Don’t’ forget the delicious dried mangoes and tamarind candies! Only the Filipinos! We are so unique!