Like Joshua

It's the name of my brother. The name of a friend. The name of a friend's son. Somehow though, I never fully appreciated the original Joshua.

Together with many other readers of the 1 year Bible plan (www.fromgardentocity.com), I just finished the last chapter of this book in the Bible. And thankful for it.

His was a great life. Because he chose to follow the God of his predecessor (Moses). Though he had so many challenges (what with the complaints and disobedience of the Israelites!), he led the people through the many miracles God blessed them with. There's the fall of walls of Jericho. The defeat of other nations. The sun that did not set while he held his hands up. The parting of the sea while the people crossed. The reason for this great blessing? He heeded the commandments of God. He was courageous. He was strong in the Lord.

In the last chapter, he asked the people to make a choice. To serve other gods or to serve the only true God.

I choose to follow the true and living God. Like Joshua.

Celebrating in heaven

I heard her name mentioned but it didn't register anything in my mind. Part of me, I think couldn't quite believe it. So I analyzed again the words I heard and when I realized what I was hearing, I was shocked.

Ate (big sister) Corly died last week. She was part of our young adults ministry in church. She was 52 when she went back to God. Quite young to our earthly standards.

I felt sad to hear the news and got teary eyed when we went to her wake this afternoon. I was not as close to her as others were, mainly because of age. And also because we didn't spend too much time together. But I've always liked her. Because of her sweet countenance, her smiling face and her helping hands. She often has a appreciative word directed to anyone.

I know though that we are assured that she is in heaven. Celebrating with God and finally healed and free of any pains. From her life, I have learned certain things. I would want to be remembered as she had been remembered. And to have her happy disposition and forgiving heart.

Bye ate Corly. I know we will see you again someday. We will celebrate then.

Smiling through my tears

For the first in many years, if not the first time ever, I found myself crying and smiling at the same time. Maybe it was because of the blessings in my life these days. Maybe it was because I have gained a better perspective of the world as I invested more time in reading God’s words. Maybe it was because I was feeling better physically today. Or a mixture of all these things.

As I read the message and looked at the pictures sent by a friend, as I experienced joy for her joy, I suddenly felt this happiness and peace that everything would be well. My lips widened into a smile, my eyes became teary eyed and I said with conviction to myself, “God, You are truly in control.”

How could I have doubted it? How could I have worried and feared about the future? When I should know in my heart and mind that I have a Father who already sees the life ahead of me. Good and bad things happen to us. People enter into or depart from our lives. In each situation, we should remember that we do not see yet the ending. We do not see the whole picture.

I want to capture this moment as I smile through my tears. Even though words cannot describe what I am feeling.

So that I will remember.

He is in control.

Back to the present

It feels like I haven't written for a year. It hasn't been that long but with all the thoughts turning in my head and words I wanted to write, it felt like that.

Two trips a month apart, preparations and finally transferring to a new place, finishing touches on my thesis, procedural requirements to finish school, short and long-term projects at work. These made my life a little crazier than usual for the last 3 months.

And here I am. Installed in our new home. Finally blogging even though I should be organizing boxes of the years gone by. Stopping myself from venturing too much into my past for I might just find myself shedding some more tears. Forcing myself to let go of so many documents and objects so that there would be space for new things to come in. Still finding it hard to throw away bus tickets, restaurant bills, boarding passes, songbooks, big shirts, etc. Because they still bring to mind sentimental thoughts and memories.

I am thankful though. For those people who helped me get through the past 3 months. My family and relatives, my friends and certain colleagues at work. And especially to God. For He sustained me. He strengthened me.

So here I am again.

Writing.

* picture from www.moneta.com.au