Grocery

I went to the grocery store on my way home. I wanted to prepare as I hibernate for the next two days. My doctor told me to go home and rest. And of course, I didn't follow his instructions. I stayed at the office the whole day. Things to do.

I like going to the grocery. I enjoy browsing through the shelves to see if there's something new to try out. I think I like this better than shopping for clothes, shoes and bags. Choosing food is less complicated. I settled on buying salmon and pork for soups. Salad and sardines for dinner. And yogurt for tomorrow. Not enough but I can always buy something else tomorrow night.

Time to rest for now.

Temptation

Nope. Not possible.

Why? Because.

Just is.

It will disappear.

Day 30: Finish?

It took me so long to finish this 30 day challenge. Technically, it has become a 37-day challenge. Truth be told, I was partly delaying this day. It would end my self-imposed requirement to write about something, anything. Yep, it is self-imposed. I like writing but I often find myself lost on what to write. Or even if I do want to write, I can't blog about the topic. Too personal. Too revealing. So why blog? Who knows? :)

Last night, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to breath and then die. Even though we believers know where we are going, I realized that there would always be that desire, little or big, to remain alive. Or at least, to pass away quietly and painlessly.

Who is Bob Ong? I have been reading some of his quotes in Facebook. There is truth in many of the words. They make me smile.

I have been writing about the things I am learning. The past few months, I have been trying to unlearn something. It's more difficult. It takes double the effort. No wonder my muscles are crying out from the stress.

Our teacher asked us what grade we would like to receive. If only I had the courage to pick the highest. It's hard to predict though if the choices we make might just backfire on us. If I choose the highest, she might think I am too proud and penalize me with a lower grade. If a lower grade, it might be considered a humble choice and be praised through the awarding of the highest grade. Or she might really just accept our suggestions and thus, I would be at the losing end. So I decided to base it on how much effort I gave. Otherwise, I am just glad that this class is over.

I heard Senator Gordon speak in a conference yesterday. He might not have a perfect speaking voice but his speech was well thought of. He knows what he is talking about. I wonder how he'd fare at the next election. The competition would be pretty stiff. At least 5 presidential candidates.

2010 will definitely be a crazy year. But I am looking forward to what it would bring. Something different. Something better. Here's to a better year!

I'm babbling. Trying to delay the inevitable. This is so like my habit of buying new things and only using or wearing them after at least a month or two. Weird. But that's just the way it is.

So I end it here. I know I can still write. But the title should no longer start with "Day"...

Day 29: Week-end experiences

I met 3 friends yesterday. Over coffee (for 1) and sweets (blueberry cheesecake for me), we talked about a funeral and a wedding. The funeral took place today. The wedding will happen next month. God allows us to have beginnings and endings. It doesn’t follow that the former is always happy and the latter sad. Both make our lives richer especially if we allow ourselves to mature and learn from the journey. And the beauty of it all is that when God closes a door, He opens a new one.

= = =

I am thankful for friends who know how I feel because they also went through similar journeys. They know that the process takes time and there is the tendency to dwell on the same details. But they are willing to listen and encourage you. Even if you sound like a broken music player.

= = =

Praise and worship for five hours. Last Friday. I almost didn’t go. I am glad I did. I needed to remember who is the center of my joy. - - > JESUS

= = =

Buffet at midnight. Egg, sausage, hotdog, pancit, fried rice, fried bangus, congee, maja, palitaw, pancakes. Late dinner or early breakfast? Both. It was all worth it. For $3 dollars. And two hours of chichat with friends / churchmates. Unfortunately, my body is no longer used to very late nights. But it was a good night…err… morning!

= = =

I have come to the conclusion that I don't understand them. Their mind works differently. Their actions are unpredictable. They could be intelligent fools or moronically smart people. They defy definitions or generalizations.

But so are we.

Day 28: Done

My last paper for this last subject will be submitted tomorrow.

One last thing to do is defense.

This will soon be over!

Day 27: Movies

As final exam, we watched the movie "Amazing Grace" and we must submit a reflection paper. I am doing that right now. Or at least, trying to. There are so many things I would like to discuss but my mind is a swirl of many thoughts. I was distracted by the rain and the frightening lightnings. I get lost in my own reflections, leading me to ideas that I know I could not translate into actions.

We can make life simple or we can make it complicated. Yet, life is never simple. There are so many complications.

I am babbling. Trying to fill-up this space so that I could write something for Day 27? No, this is just a mirror of what is inside my head. A jumble of thoughts and words, trying to make sense of a world that is often unfathomable. I am just keeping my faith in God that He sees the tomorrow and He knows that it is a better one than today.

Movies and papers.

Day 26: Changes

A friend forwarded this to me. Are there changes happening in your life? Where are you right now? Just an interesting diagram. I am not sure if this is applicable to guys because I am not sure if they go through a valley of tears.

Day 25: Omnium-Gatherum (Random Thoughts 9)

Though we celebrated the happy news that friends would soon move to another country for good, it was still hard not to feel sad, too. Especially if the friendship has lasted for many years and has gotten stronger each year. It is hard to find real friends who would support you in any way they could. J and A (and baby C), I will truly miss you.

= = =

Beng was right. It is like the waves in the sea. It rises and subsides again. Sometimes you feel like being engulfed by it but sometimes you are deceived by the stillness of the sea. There are days though when a sudden wind of memory would sweep in the seawater and gets transformed into tears.

I am waiting for the sea to be calm again.

= = =

The mystery of friendships. You are good friends with girl A who is the bestfriend of girl B. Yet bizarrely, you don't get along with girl B.

= = =

Watered for 10 and then disappeared in just 2. How is that possible? So quick and then poof! Was it even there in the first place? Maybe not.

Day 24: Possible

Who would believe that I would do so? But I did.

I just ate the pickles I found inside the cheeseburger.

And I used to hate pickles.

I wore normal shoes last Sunday.

It's been a decade since I last wore those.

I let my hair get curly again.

It was 8 years ago that it was like that.

I have been eating pineapple.

It was in high school when I used to like it.

Change is possible.

Day 23: Needles

I was required to get some tests again. To check why my 4th finger (right hand) feels numb sometimes. I thought it would be a simple test.

Imagine my shock when a needle was stuck on my neck! Seven times! For a few minutes I was terrified. I was worried that something would go wrong and I would become paralyzed. I was just praying to God to help me through the test.

If only the procedure was completely explained to me. If only I didn't hear that the small needle wouldn't go through the muscle and the doctor asked for a bigger needle! What is it with needles and fear? Hmmmm....

Thank God it was over but I have a sore neck to show for it.

Another unforgettable medical experience...

Day 22: Sleep

My doctor diagnosed my upper back and neck pain as muscle spasm. She gave a muscle relaxant to drink every night. And I was required to sleep at least 7 hours each day. So for the last three nights, I had been getting my quota of sleep. It felt good waking up.

I wonder though why during the day, I still feel my muscles tense....

Day 21: Pain

It's all over. Pain in my neck, shoulders, eyes, waist, head, legs.

I feel the need to slow down.

I am not as quick as I was before.

Can't do the just 2-hour sleep anymore.

Yeah, I am getting old.

So you put hot compress and balms.

Get some therapy and do stretches.

Take a few more medicines.

Have longer sleep time.

Eat a little healthier than before.

And somehow, you feel a little better.

Now, if only that is enough cure for all pains.

Day 20: Liking

There was a time that I thought that knowing God should mean that I have to like everyone. And that everyone should like me. Or at least not dislike me. But as I experience more of life, I realize that it is not possible. There would always people I don’t and can’t like. Not because I am being mean, but it’s just that people come in various shapes and sizes. Introvert and extrovert, serious and hilarious, patient and impatient. Some go for dark chocolate, others for white. Some find cells interesting, others like climbing mountains or prefer investments and wooden objects. Some find peace in nature, others get recharged from watching films. Others hate exercising, while some are health-buffs. Some people exude serene souls and it’s so wonderful to talk to them. Others take the energy out of you and you need some space before you see them again.

Yes, I am learning not to have to like everyone. I don’t have to apologize for it. It’s just the way it is.

And I don’t have to try so hard to make everyone like me. To some I am boring, to others I am interesting. To some I am adventurous, to others I am not adventurous enough. I may be intelligent to some but to others I am a dimwit. To some I am very serious, to others I can be naughty and hilarious.

I have learned that people can’t always like me and I can’t always like everyone. And of course, it doesn’t mean that I should be unkind. I know that I still have to exhibit the love of God. This is what makes life a little more interesting and challenging!

Day 19: Honesty

Beng tagged me so here goes… :)

= = =

Can you fill this out without lying (it's not hard)? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose at least 8 people to be tagged. Don't forget to tag me!

To do this, copy this entire message, then go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, start a new note, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy!

Next, tag people and list their names at the bottom. Have fun! :)

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Corned tuna

2. Where was your profile picture taken? Santa Cruz, Laguna

3. Can you play the guitar? Nope

4. Name someone who made you laugh today? My physical therapist this evening.

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? 1am. The neighbor’s dog was barking all night!

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Somewhere where there is nature and fresh air

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? No(t yet)

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on Facebook? Verk, my high school classmate

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? I will soon find out.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? Who is he???

11. When was the last time you cried? Last week.

12. Who took your profile picture? My colleague

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? My friend from my previous job.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Yes.

15. Can you live a day without TV? Yes.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Some are, some aren't...

18. Are you a bad influence? Err....depends.

19. Night out or night in? Either way, depends on the occasion and the weather.

20. What item(s) could you not go without during the day? water, toothbrush, lipstick

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? Ayos na landline nyo? (is your phoneline working already?)

23. How do you feel about your life right now? There’s a purpose for this. I am looking forward to next year.

24. Do you hate anyone? Hate is too strong a word. Nope.

25. If we were to look in your Email inbox, what would we find most? Subscriptions and copies of my blog entries!

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? If they could identify calcium then I won’t! hahaha!

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Never. I don’t think I would be called that, ever. J

28. What song is stuck in your head? May bukas pa ang iyong buhay… (sang by my officemate and got stuck in my head!)

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? Jesus

30. Wanna have grandkids before you're 50? Impossible to happen now! Hahaha!

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow: Work. Write. Eat.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Too much.

33. Do you smile a lot? Not these days.

Tagging anyone who wants to answer this! :)

Day 18: I'm an ectomorph!

Body Types - Which One are You? The Ectomorph, the Mesomorph, the Endomorph, or a Combination?

We have known for quite some time now in bodybuilding that different body types respond differently to both training and nutrition. As a result, it is incredibly important to be aware of what your body type is so that you can design a training and workout program accordingly. In this article, the history of body types and some interesting pieces of information to help you identify them will be mentioned.

William Sheldon

William Sheldon (1898-1977) was an American psychologist who spent his life observing all the variety of human bodies. He taught at several universities and spent his career doing valuable research. As a child he was an avid observer of animals and birds, and as he grew up, this hobby turned into a strong ability to observe the human body.

The basics of body types are listed below:

The ECTOMORPH

• Definitive "Hard Gainer"
• Delicate Built Body
• Flat Chest
• Fragile
• Lean
• Lightly Muscled
• Small Shouldered
• Takes Longer to Gain Muscle
• Thin

The extreme ectomorph physique is a fragile and delicate one. The bones are light, joints are small and muscles are slight. The limbs are relatively long in proportion and the shoulders droop. The ectomorph is a linear physique. Straight up and straight down, and may appear longer than he or she really is, due to the length of limbs coupled with lack of muscle mass developed on those limbs. The ectomorph is not naturally powerful and will have to work hard for every ounce of muscle and every bit of strength he or she can gain.

Other Ectomorph Traits

The extreme ectomorph may have long fingers, toes and neck are long. A pencil neck you could say. The features of the face are sharp, and the shape of the face is triangular. The lower jaw is somewhat receding. The skin tends to burn easily. Extreme ectomorphs may suffer from extremes of temperature. Due to the great body area in relation to muscle mass, the ectomorph may suffer from great heat, and due to low body fat, the ectomorph may suffer from great cold. The hair is fine and grows quickly and is sometimes difficult to keep in place.

Famous Ectomorphs

Lisa Kudrow, Kate Moss, Brad Pitt, Seth Green, Edward Norton.

The MESOMORPH

• Athletic
• Hard Body
• Hourglass Shaped (Female)
• Rectangular Shaped (Male)
• Mature Muscle Mass
• Muscular Body
• Excellent Posture
• Gains Muscle Easily
• Gains Fat More Easily Than Ectomorphs
• Thick Skin

The Mesomorph Body

The mesomorph has well-defined muscles and large bones. The torso tapers to a relatively narrow and low waist. The bones and muscles of the head are prominent. Features of the face are clearly defined, such as cheek bones and a square, heavy jaw. The face is long and broad, and is cubicle in shape. Arms and legs are developed and even the digits of the hand are muscled.

Other Traits of the Mesomorph

The skin of the mesomorph is thick and the mesomorph tans well. The hair is heavy in texture.

Famous Mesomorphs

Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, the majority of Mr. Universe winners.

Endomorph

• Soft Body
• Underdeveloped Muscles
• Round Physique
• Weight Loss is Difficult
• Gains Muscle Easily Like the Mesomorph.

The ENDOMORPH

The body of the extreme endomorph is round and soft. The physique presents the illusion that much of the mass has been concentrated in the abdominal area. This may or may not be true. The arms and legs of the extreme endomorph are short in length and taper. This may give the appearance of stalkiness. The hands and feet of the endomorph are comparatively small, and the upper arms and thighs are often more developed than the lower parts of the arms or legs. The body has a high waist.

Other Traits of the Endomoprh

The skin is soft and smooth, and the hair is fine. The head of the endomorph is spherical. The head is large and the face broad.

Famous Endomorphs

John Goodman, Roseanne, Jack Black.

Combinations of Body Types

Very often, people cannot be easily classed as one of the three main body types. Although there are some people who are purely ectomorphs, endomorphs, or mesomorphs with little or no characteristics of the other body types, very frequently, people fall into mixed categories, such as ecto mesomorphs, or endo mesomorphs, where largely, they are like the mesomoph, but with traits of the ectomorph (such as small joints or a trim waist), or traits of the endomorph (such as a tendency to gain fat easily). http://www.bodybuildingpro.com/bodytypeinformation.html

Day 17: Mistakes

You commit them.

Big ones, small ones.

Planned, unplanned.

Wrong actions, bad decisions,

Hurtful words, slap-like acts.

But once they are done

You cannot take them back.

The glass is shattered.

At least there would be scars.

So you admit your mistakes

Learn from them

And then move on.

At least try

Even if it is hard

Hoping that one day it would be gone

The pain of taking the wrong step

Of saying unkind words.

One day...

it would be gone.

Day 16: Wish

We know the reasons behind the tragic flooding that happened several weeks ago. First, nature has unleashed its power, deluging us with unprecedented large volume of water in a matter of hours. I can now imagine how the Great Flood happened. I am just thankful that we have the rainbow as a reminder that that won’t ever happen again. But the second and more painful reason is human error. Developments along or onnatural water ways, construction of shanty houses beside river banks, clogged drainages because of irresponsible throwing of trash, lack of comprehensive flood system, destruction of trees to hold up the water, etc.

The fingers started pointing to anyone and everyone. The poor for staying where they are not supposed to be. The government for not implementing the law, for being corrupt, for being disorganized. The developers for incessantly constructing where they want. For the people because we throw our waste everywhere. It was the result of decades of wrong decisions, lack of discipline and foresight and weak political will. We are now becoming conscious because we feel too well the pain from the death of loved ones, the destruction of our homes and livelihood, flood related diseases, and the mounting debts.

How I wish that our country would learn from the many errors of the past and implement changes so that there won’t be such tragedies. How I pray that the pointing of fingers would stop and the government would have the political will to function according to its mandate… to serve the people.

Day 15: Typing

Typing...
Typing...
Typing...
and typing.

Day 14: Faith

Isn’t it great to receive God’s assurance?

I am praying that He would continue to grant me the faith to believe.

May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

We will shout for joy when you are victorious

and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the LORD grant all your requests. – Psalm 20:4-5

Day 13: Ride

Are only women like this? Going through so many emotions within a single day, even a single hour? From joy to despair, hopeful to darkness, abandon to timidity, proud to shame, freedom to guilt, thankful to complaints, and then back to happiness and being dreamy again.

Whew!

Crazy day!

Day 12: Writing

and writing...

and writing...

and writing.

Day 11: Kindness Quotient

I borrow the phrase from Max Lucado. I have been having a very low KQ for the past few days in connection with this specific person. I have been noticing though that when I suggest something, being knowledgeable about certain things because I was ahead of her in the organization, she didn’t follow most of them. She just goes ahead with what she likes doing. So I decided to stop volunteering information and suggestions. They were not welcome anyway.

I really tried to be patient in the past year. Others would attest to it. I knew she felt it because she often turned to me when she needed help. And I did help again and again. And now, I am feeling taken advantage of. What aggravated the situation is that when she asks for information or help, she wants to have it immediately. On the other hand, when we ask her to handle a matter that falls under her responsibility, she keeps us waiting. Often, we wait for days, even a week or two.

So it has been difficult in the last two days. Trying my best to keep my temper in check. I know, I need to increase my KQ. Thank God, it’s the week-end. Time to recharge. To be ready again for next week,

Day 10: With faith

When I heard that three members of our professional organization were victims of the now infamous Ondoy, I was concerned. I wondered how they were faring.

Tonight, I heard their stories firsts-hand (at least the two who are residing in far-away Montalban). What was so surprising was that they were not in despair. But then, I shouldn't have been surprised. I should have remembered that those who have faith remain secure in the knowledge that our God would always take care of us.

Pangga was chuckling while she was sharing how they escaped the rapidly rising waters. She couldn't remember anymore the exact time but it was between 10 to 30 minutes that the waters rose from her waist, to her neck, and then they had to "swim" over to a neighbor's house with a second level. It was the only house in their area with a second-floor. Thirty of them stayed on that flat (thank God it was flat!) rooftop until the rain stopped and water receded. She smilingly shared how she tried to use a towel to shield her back from the cold floor of the one room-house that they (18 of them) are temporarily renting, how she happily found her rubber shoes floating among the knee-deep mud inside their house, how she was able to rationally remember to save her important documents.

What is even more admirable is how she and Cherry (the other member of our organization) were able to help and share what they receive to those who are also in need. They are thankful that they were able to find the little house so as to escape the overpopulated schools that serve as temporary shelter. They are thankful that they are all safe, even if they lost everything, and cannot go back to their mud-filled houses. They are worried about their church member and where to go this coming Sunday because their church was among those that were damaged, together with all the equipment.

I am thankful that they are all safe. I am thankful that there is a brotherhood/sisterhood in the family of Christ who rise up to the occasion and provide a helping hand when it is needed. I am so thankful that I am part of the family of Christ so that we can support each other. I am so thankful that we have the peace and assurance that God will never leave nor forsake us.

Thank you Lord for the faith.

Day 9: Prayer

Lord, we seek your mercy. Save us.

We humble ourselves and seek your forgiveness.

We ask for your comfort and love.

Lord, show us the things that you want us to learn from this.

Use this to bring us to your feet to worship.

Help us to love you and love our neighbor.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.