I mourn your passing

He has been getting weaker and weaker for the past few days. Eating less than usual, then not eating at all, and turning his head away when we attempted to make him drink or even wet his lips.

It was to no avail. His journey was about to end.

He tried to fight the weakness that his age had brought him. He tried to rise and rise again, sometimes succeeding but often tumbling down again. And all I could do was try to make him rest and just lie down.

He began to reek of death. His mouth foaming with blood. His legs covered by stains of his own vomit. I could not bear the idea that he was in such a state. Though queasy of stomach, I wiped away the smelly stains on his face and legs. I had to. With tears streaming down my face. Because I see him in pain.

I thought he would not last the night. I wanted to be there when he finally breathed his last.  I didn't want him to be alone when it happened. I stayed awhile. 

I saw him finally fall asleep, quite peacefully. I tried to make him comfortable so that the cold would not enter his body. But in my mind, there is a battle raging. Should I allow his suffering to continue and just wait for the natural course of things to take place? Or be merciful and let him be given the injection of death? 

For many minutes, I cried for him. For the suffering that he is going through. For the long years he had lived. For missing my family who is not with me to cry for him. For the possibility that we could all die alone. 

In the morning, he was still hanging on. But getting much weaker. He could only partially lift his head. And I heard his pitiful whining. For what exactly, I did not know. Maybe it was a mixture of everything? For the pain. For the helplessness. For the inability to rise again. Or maybe he was bidding his goodbye? Or asking me to help him and end his troubles?

That was the last straw. With my voice breaking, I called the one who could give him rest. And when they finally arrived, I asked them to be gentle to him. And asked for an assurance that he would be buried well.

For more than 15 years he was a constant presence in our house. He had his good and bad side but he had become a part of the family. And I am happy that my last gift was that I did not prolong his pain.

And what made me happier and contented? That we need not die alone. That we have a God who is always there to comfort us to our last breathe. And if we do die, we wake up to a better place. To go to heaven. To finally be done with pain and suffering. To remain in the embrace of a loving Father.

Goodbye Darius. Though you do not have a soul, I am praying to finally see you in heaven.

One liners from RIck Warren

Got this from Mark Batterson (www.evotional.com) who got it from Rick Warren.

Beautiful and true!

"Every conflict is the byproduct of immaturity." 
"You cannot have control and growth." 
"Art needs a frame." 
"Be a proponent of the new not an opponent of the old." 

"If you wrestle with a pig you'll both get dirty." 
"Define yourself or others will." 
"Bless those who curse you." 
"Separate fact from opinion." 
"Hurt people hurt people." 
"Insults are insecurities."

By the way, welcome me back to the online world!!! Thank you God!!! (and Kuya Cris from Globe.. hehehe)

To realize (forwarded by a friend)

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

Time waits For no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

Waaaahhhhh!

No dial tone for the last 6 days!!!!

Meaning no DSL for the last 6 days!!!!!

C'mon Globe! Do your work!

Waaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Words and hearts

Words are powerful. Written or oral, they are our tools of communication.

They can incite feelings of passion. They can destroy a person’s future.

Endearing words from a man can soften a woman’s heart. Words of hatred may create a war that can last many lifetimes.

But how do we form our words?

I believe that words springs forth from our hearts. They reflect what has been planted in our souls. They are fruits of the nourishment we give to our minds.

A beautiful child becomes hideous if lewd words are common to his mouth.

A pretty girl becomes ugly when curses are released from her lips.

The most handsome man becomes intolerable when only insults are spewed out from his mouth.

A famous or rich person may be ostracized if words of grievance or lies are his constant utterance.

A loving mother would not constantly torture her kids with words of negativism. It would be hard to respect a father who only bellows out insults to his children. It would be difficult to listen to men of God when all they have to offer are doomsday predictions.

If our eyes are the windows to our soul, then words are mirrors of our hearts.

I have been a recipient of painful words. I know how a heart can suffer from unjust accusations.

I have learned to temper my words. It is not easy though. I still fail many times. I still purposely and unwittingly cause a sting or two in innocent and guilty hearts.

Fortunately for us, each day brings a new beginning to change. To be an envoy of hope and encouragement. To let others know through our words that we are followers of the King and His Son.

Our words mirror our hearts. We should mirror Christ.

Pour me comprendre par Veronique Sanson

Pour me comprendre 
Il faudrait savoir qui je suis 
Pour me comprendre, 
Il faudrait connaître ma vie 
Et pour l'apprendre, devenir mon ami, 
Pour me comprendre, il aurait fallu au moins ce soir 
Pouvoir surprendre le chemin d'un de mes regards 
Triste mais tendre, perdu dans le hasard 

Je l'ai connue toute petite 
Dans les bras de sa grande maman 
Dommage, dommage, j'aimais tellement son visage 

Pour me comprendre, il faudrait savoir le décor, 
De mon enfance, 
Le souffle de mon frère qui dort 
La résonnance, de mes premiers accords 
Pour me comprendre, il faudrait connaitre mes nuits, 
Mes rêves d'amour, et puis ces longues insomnies, 
Quand vient le jour, la peur, d'affronter la vie, 

Il y a peut-être quelque part 
Un bonheur dont j'aurait eu ma part 
Dommage, dommage, j'aimais tant certains paysages 

Pour me comprendre, il faudrait la conaître mieux, 
Que je ne pourrais 
Il faudrait l'aimer plus que moi, et je vous dirai, 
Que je n'y crois vraiment pas, 
Pour me comprendre, il faudrait avoir rencontré 
L'amour, le vrai, vous comprenez le grand amour 
Et savoir qu'après à quoi sert de vivre encore un jour 

Dare you answer?

Can you tell me why you are here on earth?

Can you state to me the mission statement of your life?

Can you share to me your vision of your life?

Make a life...

... not just a living by Dr. Ron Jenson

The average person goes to his grave with his music still in him.

"A servant leader is one who gets excited about making others more successful than himself."

If you have to go more than three feet from wherever you are to find fulfillment, something is wrong.

"It's hard to expect an empty bag to stand up straight.'

Don't be presumptuous, offensive or pushy. Don't cram truth down people's throats. Be a friend, be a servant, meet others' needs and watch how they respond.

You cannot control what has happened in the past or what others might think, feel, say or do. You cannot control the end results or fruits in your life. But you can take responsibility for planting and cultivating the right roots. This "rightness living" will ultimately produce the fruit of authentic success. But you must take charge of your own life and accept the responsibility for it.

"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."

The net...

... from Faithcartoons

Trying...

I knew I must go home. I didn't want to. I was trying to delay the moment that I have to face the fact that I am on my own... 

For a few hours, Iron Man entertained... for a few hours I could forget...

I miss my father's cooking... the food he knows I love... i miss reminding him about the food he must and must not eat... i miss his actions of love...

I miss my mother's cooking, even if they don't have any taste at all... her text messages asking me where I am and what time I would be coming home... i miss the fact that now I have to fight my own cockroach battles... 

I miss buying them things...

And now, I will also miss my brother...

I knew that there are life stages we have to go through... I just didn't know that it is going to be this way...

Now, if only people would stop asking me how my parents are or how's my brother's girlfriend... 

On my own

I am on my own.

Funny how God works in mysterious ways.

I am not laughing now though.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

I am sure.

Thank God that it will be! 

I love the Philippines

Check out this article.

What do you think? 

Stand and fight

I often take the Metro Rail Transit (MRT) System when I go home at night. It is faster, cheaper, less polluted in noise and smell. During rush hour, hundreds of commuters push one another to fit inside a train that should carry much less in number. In fact, I don't need to do anything in order to get in. Just let myself be malleable enough to be shoved inside by people at the back, or the people after them. If you are already inside, expect to  find yourself propelled into the innermost section of the train and you would need to ram yourself against human bodies in order to get out. To add, you would discover that your face is already brushing against the hair of the person in front of you, or feel the person behind closely breathing on your neck. And all you can think is "I want to get out from this crowd" but you know you can't until the doors open at the next stop.

With this undesirable situation, I have learned to fight back. Imperceptibly. When the door opens and the multitude press forward, I use my body to counter the shoving motion. It helps control the disorder that could become a tragedy. It is the same tactic I use when I am already inside. When I think that the maximum number of people are already inside (read : there is still space to breath!), I simply use all my force to unobtrusively reverse the tide of human bodies. And more often than not, I succeed.

This situation reminded me of life. 

It is so easy to let the tide of life wash over us. To follow where the current would lead us. I have been a witness to a person who allowed himself to be suctioned by life's tide. He did not fight back. He became too complacent that it brought him where it would only lead him - - - towards sin. 

I wish that fighting back against sin is as easy as pushing people in the MRT. I wish it so hard. But it is not. It takes a lot more effort. It requires us to conquer our fears.

I fight back because I fear more the idea that I would stay stuck in the pit of sin. I would not be able to look at myself and realize that I did nothing to change my situation. I know it is God who enables us. His forgiving grace and redemptive love allow us to have freedom. But I also know that we need to make a conscious effort and decision to follow Him. And with His help, stand my ground and fight. 

And to be able to say that I have fought a good fight.