During my teen-age years in the youth ministry, I had some opportunities to interact with members of the young adults ministry. I got this impression that they are mature, spiritually, emotionally, etc.. To me, many appeared to be accomplished, confident, and they seemed to know what they want in life or where they are headed. I wished then that I would soon grow up so that I would be like them, sure of many things in life.
Fast forward to today and I can only smile while I remember that not-so-wrong-yet-not-completely-right premise. I should have verbalized my thoughts then to some of the young adults I considered as a big brother or sister. They would have explained to me the real deal.
Why? Because being a young adult right now, I have a fair idea of where they were then.
Am I mature? In some aspects, yes but in many ways, no. Compared to a teen-ager who has not seen and experienced much of life, I might seem very mature. But as the years go by and as I go through different stages in life, I encounter new challenges. My reactions and response would sometimes be so immature I could only try to hide what I have done, even from myself. Experience, mine or that of other people, has taught me to be wise about my choices and to weigh everything from the eternal perspective.
Am I confident? More and more, only because I am learning to whom I should I put my confidence into. Otherwise, I would just be another insecure and afraid soul lost in a world that is full of people who have the external packaging of oozing confidence but are surely fighting their own battles of self doubt. There are days though when I falter, unsure of what step to take, especially if your heart and mind are clouded.
Do I know what I want out of life or where I am headed? In many ways, I am still that same girl who doesn’t know where she should go. However, God, life and people have tutored me well to put my trust in God, seek His will and act on what I think is best in whatever circumstance I am in. I wish making choices has become easier. But then, as a friend rightfully reminded me, if it happens, then it is God’s will, if not, then it is not.
My journey as a young adult is not yet over. There are hurdles to overcome, crossroads to walk through, fears to conquer but victories to celebrate and joys to cherish. Life does not end there though. There would other stages to go through if God would allow it to be so : to be a wife, a mother, a grandmother, etc. Interspersed into these would be friendship, career and ministry. Above all these, I am glad to know that there is my Father who sees the big picture and holds my hand.