Another journey

A little more than three months have passed and yet, a lot has changed when I embarked on the 2^nd most important adventure of my life (the first was when I gave my life to Christ). I now have to think in miles and Fahrenheit. I check the hourly changes in temperature each day. I wear more layers of clothes compared to some people around me because I am not yet used to the cold. I sometimes forget to get the change from the coin dispenser because I didn’t know that such a thing existed before. I am learning how to bake and cook healthy meals as I wait for the washer and dryer to make a sound to signal that it is time to get the clothes. I now bear a different surname and speak a language that is not completely my own. And, of course, I hold the hand of my wonderful husband every time we pray together.

The steps that led me to this path were not easy. Doubts and fears assailed me as I constantly conversed with God. Back then, the idea of leaving everything that I had known all my life was somehow unthinkable. Thinking about what challenges I would need to face was sometimes too frightening that I had to stop and just ask God again and again if I was hearing Him right.

We do know that people have taken their bags and left what they call home to pursue dreams and follow their hearts. I did the second.

I am still amazed sometimes that I am here, living with my husband, being loved and loving in return. In the beginning, I often asked him if I was really here and that I was not dreaming. These days though, we are finding it hard to imagine what it was like when we were not together.

And for all these, I have God to thank for. I know that it is a miracle how He orchestrated everything and He let everything fall into place.

As I continue this adventure I have taken, I hope to put into words the things I am discovering and learning. Like seeing fall colors for the first time. Or relearning how to bike. Or just savoring the joy of cooking.

Little things matter

Whenever I am asked what my purpose is here on earth or what I want to do, I have a standard reply: to make a difference in people’s lives (aside from loving God). In any way possible. Often though, I wonder if I am able to do that. Compared to what so many famous and rich people are doing, what I am able to do seems paltry. Think about the amount of money Bill Gates and Warren Buffet donate to charity. How about when Oprah gave away houses, cars, and scholarships? Or when an organization feeds hundreds of hungry people or sends poor kids to school?

I know though that little things matter. Even by just forwarding a website. Or giving a book.

I was reminded by this when a friend told me how the book (Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson) I wrote about in this blog helped invigorate God’s vision for her life. She shared the content in her mission trip to Indonesia. One of the attendees heard it and felt it was a confirmation of a call from God. He joined a mercy ship.

A book (The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson) I gave to this same friend fell into the hands of her brother. His dreams were reawakened. He decided to shift his career direction and is now going through training to pursue his dreams in computer art.

In our quest for healthy activities, a friend and I attended a yoga class. I felt it wasn’t right so I researched for a Christian alternative. I forwarded the website (www.praisemoves.com) to my friend and her interest was piqued. She bought videos and books. To make the long story short, she is now the first certified Praisemoves instructor here in the Philippines.

I emphasize that what I did was very simple. God anointed the authors of the books and the creator of the new exercise. My friends and those connected to them were already seeking God’s direction and were ready to listen. I know that God could and would have still used various means to speak to them. I am just glad that I somehow played a very small role.  Just goes to show that everything we do for God has meaning. Even just by passing information.

Just a piece in the Story

This month will go down in history for the devastating quake and tsunami in Japan as well as the political upheavals in the Middle East. These events were and are subject of many news reports and conversations. We read about miraculous survivals from the deluge of seawater, the sacrificial work of employees as they try to fix the nuclear plants, and about the fortitude and calm reaction of the Japanese people. In another part of the world, we hear about the devastating effects of the push-pull movements between government and rebel groups as each try to gain and extend their control on territories. We still do not know what would be the end result of such big stories that would someday be turned into novels and even movies.

                                        

All these makes me wonder sometimes what is the place of my tiny, little story in a world that seems to be going through the birth pains of what many say is the beginning of its ending. Concerns about my shoulder spasm, career direction and personal status may seem like irrelevant compared to a nation who lost so much including the life of thousands of people, or to battles for ideologies related to democracy and individual rights.

 

Yet, I know that God is concerned about my personal story. How?

 

From Bible stories. Jesus took time to talk to a Samaritan woman, who wrongfully lived with five men, so that she would receive the Living water. He called on to Zacchaeus and visited his house so that this tax collector could repent and give back what he took. Jesus personally spoke to Saul for him to change from the wrong path to the True Way to follow God.

 

From stories of people I know. Friends who were finally healed from common and dreaded diseases. Women whose wombs were opened. Stories about hearts and lives who were transformed because of the saving grace of Christ. And most especially, the life testimonies of those who remained faithful even though they cannot see or have not received yet the promises given to them.

 

From the storytelling of nature and animal kingdom.  Each time the sun gloriously shows its color while it sets. Through the wonders of color and movement of creatures under the sea. When I see the ever changing shapes and arrangement of clouds in the sky. Whenever a cat purrs and stretches out its furry and flexible body. When I hear the melodious chirping of birds.

 

I know that there is one great story unfolding. It is the story of God and His love for humanity. But like any completed puzzle, each piece is still important to the Maker. Thus, I know that my little story matter to Christ. I should not hesitate to come to Him with my requests because I know He is listening and He cares. What I need to do is to wait, have faith, and most importantly, live out my story. Because He is weaving it. A story of love, forgiveness, grace and victory. 

Journey of a young adult (2011 Learning series)

During my teen-age years in the youth ministry, I had some opportunities to interact with members of the young adults ministry. I got this impression that they are mature, spiritually, emotionally, etc.. To me, many appeared to be accomplished, confident, and they seemed to know what they want in life or where they are headed. I wished then that I would soon grow up so that I would be like them, sure of many things in life.

 

Fast forward to today and I can only smile while I remember that not-so-wrong-yet-not-completely-right premise. I should have verbalized my thoughts then to some of the young adults I considered as a big brother or sister. They would have explained to me the real deal.

 

Why? Because being a young adult right now, I have a fair idea of where they were then.

 

Am I mature? In some aspects, yes but in many ways, no. Compared to a teen-ager who has not seen and experienced much of life, I might seem very mature. But as the years go by and as I go through different stages in life, I encounter new challenges. My reactions and response would sometimes be so immature I could only try to hide what I have done, even from myself. Experience, mine or that of other people, has taught me to be wise about my choices and to weigh everything from the eternal perspective.

 

Am I confident? More and more, only because I am learning to whom I should I put my confidence into. Otherwise, I would just be another insecure and afraid soul lost in a world that is full of people who have the external packaging of oozing confidence but are surely fighting their own battles of self doubt. There are days though when I falter, unsure of what step to take, especially if your heart and mind are clouded.

 

Do I know what I want out of life or where I am headed? In many ways, I am still that same girl who doesn’t know where she should go. However, God, life and people have tutored me well to put my trust in God, seek His will and act on what I think is best in whatever circumstance I am in. I wish making choices has become easier. But then, as a friend rightfully reminded me, if it happens, then it is God’s will, if not, then it is not.

 

My journey as a young adult is not yet over. There are hurdles to overcome, crossroads to walk through, fears to conquer but victories to celebrate and joys to cherish. Life does not end there though. There would other stages to go through if God would allow it to be so : to be  a wife, a mother, a grandmother, etc. Interspersed into these would be friendship, career and ministry. Above all these, I am glad to know that there is my Father who sees the big picture and holds my hand.

Local Christmas

Whenever I leave Manila during Christmas time, part of me does not want to go. Though this season brings a negative side, I remember the good things.

Gifts to open as early as December 1 if your company party falls on that day. Various savory foods to try because friends and family would utilize their culinary skills. Or enjoy the tasty meals offered by restaurants since the bosses or the company foots the bill.

What I delight in are reunions. People you have not seen for a long time would suddenly appear during get- togethers. The fellowship time during meal times is immensely filling, emotionally.

Then there is the joy of giving and receiving. I usually make a list of the people I want to bless and appreciate. Often, it can be challenging how you try to budget your resources and still make someone smile. The other side? I get suprised when someone hands me a gift since I often do not think that I would get something.

I will definitely not miss the daunting traffic, the crowd that fill many public spaces and the pollution that firecrackers bring (for New Year).

This year though, I will miss the people and celebrations. But then, one can be anywhere in the world and enjoy this important season. Just remember the reason we are celebrating and be with people you care for.

Merry Christmas! :)

Surreal yet real

The past week was partly surreal for me. The things I have been doing were so unlike of me. Joining a retreat even if I did not know anyone. Posed some probing questions to people I just met like my seatmate on the bus and my groupmates (on the first hour!). Asking a guy to have his picture taken with us because my groupmate likes him. Requesting the event photographer to take our group picture even if I do not know him. And etc etc.

On the other hand, I found something real. Apart from the spiritual renewal, what I like next about this retreat was that I met new friends. It was a prayer that I uttered to God in the past few months because I felt I needed new kindred souls. So I was happily surprised to receive a gift I did not expect to find.

I do not know if i would be able to completely write about what I have learned ove the week-end. I may not find the right words or sufficient time to write. For now, I would like to savor the reality that there are no accidents with God. And that He can orchestrate big and small incidents so that His purpose would be realized.

Being one with God

I do not really know what I was expecting when I joined the retreat. When asked directly by the facilitator, as part of the introductory questions during the first group session, I replied that I want to meet with God. It is not like I ran away from Him or that I got lost. It just that I wanted to have more of His peace and to lay down questions on His feet, hoping to find answers in return.

The past year has been filled with various transitions in several aspects of my life. The uncertainty in many things left me wondering which direction to take. Often, I just wanted to hear an audible voice from God so that I do not need to make any choice or so that my heart would settle down for knowinh what to expect. But of course, life does not happen this way. Most of the time, we find ourselves taking a step of faith. If we make a mistake, we take a step back then head towards a new direction.

Did I hear an audible voice on what to do? Yes and no. No, because God is still teaching me to wait for His revelations at His perfect timing. A day by day journey. Yes, because through His words and the messages of Godly people, I knew He is directing me to take a specific choice.

The year ends with at least one certainty. I know where to go back to when I return from my vacation. For that, I am thankful and at peace.