I am a young adult. In the dictionary, an adult is defined as one who has grown into maturity or attained full strength. Attach the word “young” and I understand the phrase to refer to someone who is in the process of growing into maturity.
Do I really feel that I am maturing? Often, I do not because, in reality, as my age increases each year, I recognize more and more that there are so many things I still need to learn and understand. I still feel lost and small when I am faced with new and bigger challenges, imagined or not. I still act juvenile when things are out of my control. Sometimes, when I am hurt by someone, I lash out foolishly at the person. And so sometimes, the thought flits through my mind of wanting the bygone days and to go back to being a child lost in my selfish world.
But do I want to really go back? I do not. Like many of my friends, I do not want to go back to who I was in the past. Why? Because I have now become a better person.
I have learned to temper my feelings. From being melodramatic, languishing in my emotions, to being more objective and in control of them. God has taught me to find a balance between my heart and mind. I have learned to allow myself to be vulnerable yet I do not overwhelmingly lose myself to my imagined fears.
The independence of being a young adult has afforded me freedom to go places and acquire extraordinary experiences. With each new experience I am being trained to make those choices that are meant to only bring me good. I have made some bad choices along the way but I have learned to move on, to try and make better choices the next time around.
Courage has grown in my heart, albeit slowly. It developed as God allowed me to take prudent risks and learn to believe that it is worth the possibility of pain and failure because at the other end of these risks are joy and success. I have come a long way since the days those days when I was too afraid to attempt anything because I only foresaw failure in the end.
Some things are better learned through experience. How else can I better understand my friends unless I, too, have been counted among those who have loved and lost, failed and gotten up again, been hurt and received healing? Yes, I learn from my own experiences but I also glean wisdom from the experiences of others. Thus, what I have been cherishing most these past few weeks are my dear Christian friends - their lives and their unflagging faith in God as they face the tests of life.
And so I am enjoying this season of growing and maturing. The experience is widening my horizon, opening my eyes to the realities of life and the miracles of God. Most especially, I am developing an unshakeable faith because my identity is in God.
I am a young adult but I am still a child… a maturing child of God.
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