Pastor Rodel and I were just talking about it via Facebook. He and his family wasn't able to sleep well last night because of neighbors who were so insensitive. The singing went on until 3am. And here I am, desiring to do the revisions on my thesis and I couldn't think. Why? Singing neighbors at the back of our apartment!. It almost 10pm and they are still at it. Good thing the kids playing in front of our apartment were done playing (and shouting!) volleyball.
For the past two years, we have been discussing about leaving this place. For many reasons and one of which was given above. Why are we still here? Because when there is a respite from these troubles, I forget the need to find a new place. I wish we didn't need to move. We are comfortable. Well, almost. Easy access to my office, church, shopping malls, etc. We can go home in the wee hours and still reach home safely. Good supply of water (only in the last five years, I think). No flooding. We can keep pets. No robbery (except for our mynah bird many years ago). No rental increase since we started living here.
Until 2008. Somehow, the demography has changed. The one living beside us started holding drinking bouts at our shared little entrance. The strong smell of cheap alcohol often wafted into our home. Cigarette smokes were blowing into our living room and bedrooms. It felt so uncomfortable to go in and out because they were blocking the gate. The number of kids increased in number and for the life of me, they seem to like congregating in front of our house. Sometimes, songs would suddenly play from cellphones and disturb my midnight slumber. Dogs yapping all night but were never made to stop by their owners. Every time there is a feast, a birthday, a holy week event, etc. they would set up the tent in front of our gate. The men living at the boarding house at the back of our apartment multiplied. There were more noise, more frequent visits and arrests from either the barangay tanod (village security) or the police. Then a few months ago, another floor mushroomed, effectively blocking our second floor window. Meaning? Less air and more noise. Many constructions were being done and thus, lots of sand and dust. And construction workers who huddle together and follow you with your eyes. I am not being discriminatory or paranoid. When I passed one group, I heard them suddenly talking about my dislike for cigarette smoke. How did they know? From then on, I took a different route to work.
The ceiling started leaking again. Even after I had it renovated. Yes, I had to initiate the renovations otherwise, the apartment would have crumbled over our heads (that's the reason why the rent was not increasing, I think). The cost I just deducted from the monthly rent. One reason for the renovations was to stop the rats from living inside the ceiling. But I think they have become so comfortable and strong that they were able to destroy the hurdles placed there. One even died and I could still smell it three months after (the renovations we did backfired a bit... we can't get to the dead rat!). Partly causing my asthma and allergies.
I don't want to move but the signs seem to be pointing to that. I have to admit that I am concerned about the cost and finding the right place. This is my comfort zone. Or used to be. It used to be my shelter when I feel worn out, afraid, and sad. But the "home" is now alienating us, even attacking us. I sometimes hate coming home, knowing that it is no longer my haven.
I am now praying to God to give me (or us) the courage to leave and trust that He would bring us to a better place in His time. I know there is no perfect place but somehow I think there is one out there where I could have more peace, safety, and comfort. A home. A haven for a tired soul.
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