Reality According to Hollywood

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds—unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they will go off.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

—Brett Kays, PreachingToday.com

Uniform

When asked for his ticket, the man seated beside me loosely waived his left hand in the air. Asked by the ticket inspector for the second time, the same man answered, “I am a policeman.” Showing no emotion to such a declaration, the inspector proceeded to checking the next passenger’s fare tickets. Me, on the hand, had a different reaction, albeit it was all inside me. Hearing the policeman’s confident announcement, I can’t help but feel two distinct emotions.

The first one was fear. Growing here in our country, I imbibed this instinctive fear that our society normally endures when faced with their kind. This shouldn’t be the case. They are meant to protect us. Instead, we are trying to protect ourselves from them. We have become accustomed to hearing about corrupt and perverted versions of this group whose members were meant to serve the people. That is why, even when in a foreign land and I see those who are in uniform, I make it a point that there is a certain distance between us.

Revolt was the next thing I felt. How did carrying such an appellation ever mean that you get free rides on a public transportation? How can anyone trained to be in a uniform declare without shame that he is demanding as a right a service that must be paid? Pity, he was even carrying a hard-bound copy of the Local Government Code of the Philippines.

On the other hand, I have to lodge my own defense for them. They are underpaid and overworked (those who really work, anyway). The challenges they face are not rightly remunerated. Many of them have to live in squatter areas for lack of enough money to stay in pleasant neighbourhoods. Thus, I read somewhere, they absorb the culture of criminality of such locality.

I do not like hearing and seeing such wrongful practice. I hope I won’t be a witness of another one. I prefer to think, even if only on my perfect world, that they are in fact the models of our society.

Loss

For what amount of loss would you be so willing to be run over by a bus? Five million dollars? Five million pesos?? A million? Three hundred thousands? Or much less than that? How much do we value our savings that we would be desperate enough to end our lives?

A few weeks ago, I witnessed an old man as he tried to stop his wife from flinging herself in front of a moving bus. She was crying uncontrollably. She was in despair.

I knew the couple by sight. I see them every morning on my way to work. She sells candies and cigarettes while he minds the newspapers and racing bulletins. They were always there, rain or shine. I later learned that someone got away with all their money while she was buying some stocks for her little store. P800 as payment for the newspapers. P2,000 that she has been saving to buy plywood for the little house that she was planning to build. And another P1,000 for her medicines and their food.

For a loss of P3,800 she wanted to end her life. It seemed so small to us who are earning more. For some, it is just a small percentage of the monthly taxes that they pay. It may mean just a whole day’s shopping spree for a lady. Yet, this amount of money represented her whole life’s savings. To her, its loss seemed like the end of the world.

For many days, I saw her cry. Though she tried to wipe them away, tears were streaming down her eyes. One could see her utter sadness as she looks into nothingness.

I couldn’t help it but be disturbed by her situation. And of the many others who just try to survive on a daily basis. How do they last in this miserly world?

I am thankful that though my resources are not big, I can be one who is confident that my needs will be provided. The storehouses of my Father has endless supplies and He will meet what is required and even surprise me with wonderful gifts. I need not wear a blank face of hopelessness for I can look with expectation to my Jehovah Jireh.

Hairspray

With no idea what the movie was all about, I was happy to discover that it was wonderful to watch. Hairspray revolves around the story of a young girl, Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky), who dreams to be part of “The Corny Collins Show,” the famous dance TV show. Normally, Tracy shouldn’t fit it and there lies the beauty of the story. From “Good morning Baltimore” to the last song (I can’t remember it, sorry), I was able to enjoy the story, the songs, the acting, etc.

John Travolta did well as the mother of Tracy. Some may say that he is not so convincing, but then knowing that it is him playing the role made it more interesting and funnier. There is grace in his steps and his facial expressions were endearing. I think he did great. Christopher Walken’s role as a dense yet caring father is a departure from his usual kontrabida roles. I love seeing his smile since it starts from his lips and crinkles up to his eyes. It was remarkable to see the handsome (he really is!) face of James Marden (Cyclops) and discover his talents in singing and dancing. Who would believe that he could do both? Another surprise is Michelle Pfeiffer and her lilting voice as she reminisced about her Ms. Baltimore days.

It even tackled serious issues such as the integration of the blacks and whites in performing TV shows, going after your dreams even if everyone is saying that you are not entitled to have them, and also stepping out of your comfort zone to discover what the bigger world could offer. It presented the reality that it is possible for the “different” to defeat the mainstream (especially regarding our idea of beauty), for love to see beyond skin color or physical distinction, even for children to go beyond their parents’ limited dreams for them.

True, it somehow has the Hollywood formula of a happy ending but hey, these things do happen in real life. And I do love leaving a cinema with a happy feeling. Even if only for the beauty of the songs.

Pursuing Him

The first two lines of Michael W. Smith’s Draw Me Close make this song a favorite. This has always been my prayer to God. For Him to never let me go. To always draw me close to Him.

It so easy for life to engulf us. It is so easy for the cares of the world to sneak into our hearts and to forget what matters. It is so easy for us to get so busy that we fail to remain connected to our first love.

Lately, I have been thinking that this is happening to me. It was not evident at first. That was part of the deception. The warning bells are so faint. It was so hard to hear them. What made it more awful is that the guilty conscience doesn’t seem to be working. It was then that I realized I have to do something.

I need to get back to Him. Even though I am not feeling any sensation, my mind was telling me that something must be done. I got reminded of the song. And I prayed it. Draw me close to You. Never let me go. The more I prayed, the more I realized that He has always been there and He has been constantly drawing me to Him. It was me who was slipping from His hold.

According to Philip Yancey, God is shy. Shy? How can He be shy when He has created me and the whole world? Isn’t He the one in control? But it is true. He is shy to intervene. He is shy to act. He lets us be until we let Him in.

I am learning something different. For me to get back in His fold, I need to pursue Him. It must be my choice to return to Him.

The pursuit is exciting. I know there will be wonderful things to discover about Him.

= = =

The sensation of silence cannot be helped : a loud and evident God would be a bully, an insecure tyrant, an all crushing datum instead of, as He is, a bottomless encouragement to our faltering and frightened being. – John Updike

Omnium-Gatherum (Random thoughts 2)

I have been trying to get serious with my thesis for the past week. It took me quite a long time to muster the courage to face 367 pages of translation. The idea itself is so daunting that I have made so many reasons not to start. It is so much easier to do mundane things and call on to my propensity to put into oblivion responsibilities that must be done.

And I just finished doing the first review of the first chapter. And I am trying to complete the translation of the second chapter. For those who are not familiar with translating written works, it is necessary to review again and again the translated text until you get the feel that you finally achieved what the author was trying to put across to the reader. It can be crazy. It can be interesting. I am satisfied to say that these days, I am finding it very interesting indeed. The momentum is there. I just hope it will last long enough for me to reach the conclusion. I have to. I am nearly reaching MRR and I don’t want to overtake the record of the last one who just graduated.

= = =

No wonder men are getting confused with what we women want. We say that we want equal rights yet we still expect men to give up their chair or open the door for us. But it makes a man more endearing when he safeguards her when crossing a busy street, when he suggests to carry a heavy package, when he offers to give her a ride or even to just ask if she can safely go home.

Lest I be charged with inequality, I have to mention that we can be gentlewomen too. We give up our chairs to grandfathers, grandmothers and pregnant women. But not for the strong, young and able men. In fact, we are giving you the opportunity to rise above our esteem. I just hope you will get it.

= = =

I read an article that, most often than not, we look for partners who share the same interests, qualities, characteristics, even physical dimensions that we have. Like looks for like. Those who love to read would find readers interesting. Those who love sport activities would enjoy the company of a partner who finds it thrilling to run after an inanimate ball. Singing the same kind of songs would seal a connection. Sharing the same perspective in life could strengthen the beginnings of the ever after.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. There always will be. That is the beauty of variety and individuality. But I believe there is truth in the article. First of all, they did research. And second, it is easier to connect with someone you have something in common with. Now, let us start thinking of what the qualities we have. Or maybe, look at the qualities of the person you like. See if there is any similarity. Search away! I hope you find something!

The Five Love Langauges

A friend heard for the first time about the different love languages. And he asked me to give information about them. In fact, there are five kinds. Yo capn!

Though many may think that these may only apply to romantic relationships, I have found that it is wise to harness this tool to everyone around us. Understanding the love language of your parents, siblings, friends, bosses, co-church workers, business contacts, etc. could help a lot in improving the relationship with them.

And so I encourage you to find your love language and tell it (with subtlety, or not :- ) ) to the people around you. This will help them understand you better. And know the love language of the people you encounter. It will really make a world of difference in your interaction with them.

I think my love languages are : words of affirmation and acts of service... what's yours?

The Five Love Languages

Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking to dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

Find out more from the book of Gary Chapman with the same title. Why not take the test? Get the complete information from www.fivelovelanguages.com