I am learning: Choosing to be fearless

I don’t always look forward to August, my birth month. At this time of the year, I can’t help it but take stock of the past twelve months. It is so easy to fall into the trap of asking: “What have I accomplished? What do I have to show for the 365 days that have just passed?” And often, the answers find me wanting.

In this world of material standards, I apparently fail. I have no properties or jewelries, no large savings and no career ladder to climb. For others who equate success with relationships, I do not have a husband or children to show for it yet.

I am quite certain that a lot of people share this description, either completely or partially. We are the norm in a country (or even in the world!) where less than 10% of the population hold the majority of wealth and resources. Add to this the never-ending circus of our politics, the worsening environmental situation, the slow recovery of the world from economic crises, the appearance of new strains of diseases and the uncontrollable increase of population. Who wouldn’t get depressed when faced by all these?

For a season, the mantle of gloom burdened my shoulders. Thoughts of doom and inadequacy festered in my mind. What is there to look forward to? Why are we living in such a crazy world? What is the meaning of our lives? Who cares if we are alive or not? Why strive so hard when tomorrow you would just wake up to the same life?

Of course, I knew the right answers to all these but sometimes fear can make one irrational.

God uses different means to break through bondages and struggles in different people. Unforgettable experiences. Awesome displays of nature. A tender image of a sleeping child. Among others, God used an unexpected gift to get through the grayness overshadowing my spirit.

When a package arrived in our home one day, I wondered what was inside. I totally forgot about my online registration for a book review not expecting (again!) that I would be a fortunate recipient. But God works in mysterious ways. He knew what I needed. He understands that the written word converses with my soul in the same way that music speaks to a dancer’s spirit.

I opened my package and found my prize – the latest book by Max Lucado.[i] As I read through it, I finally realized what had been gripping my heart all along. It was fear. Fear of not mattering. Fear of tomorrow. Fear of having disappointed God. Fear of not really knowing God.

Max Lucado said it well: “Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is.”

As I pored over selected chapters of the book, the timeless promises of God came back to me.

* “For we are God’s masterpieces. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Eph. 2:10NLT).

* “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”(Matt. 14:27 NLT)

I followed an advice given: “Be specific about your fear. Identify what “this cup” and talk to God about it.” Directed back to God, my thoughts remembered and my spirit transformed.

* “Stay awake and pray for strength.”” (Matt. 26:41 NCV)

* “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil.” (Prov. 19:23)

I am still on a journey of conquering my fears. But I have become more positive, more hopeful, more trusting. I need not worry about anything as long as I stay within God’s will.

I am challenged to be courageous again. I am choosing to be fearless within the will of God.

[i] FEARLESS: Imagine your life without fear by Max LUCADO. Visit www.thefearlesstimes.com.