Halfways

I am half-excited and half-afraid. Excited for my birthday celebration (together with a friend) this coming Sunday. For what it could bring to the NGO that we have chosen to be the beneficiary of the event. For what we can contribute to the future of needy kids. Half afraid that no one would be coming. Half apprehensive that there won’t be enough food. Half –anxious that we might not raise enough.

I don’t remember anymore if I mentioned it here but two friends celebrated this year their entry to a new decade. They encouraged me to do the same. They said that I would be sorry not to celebrate my birthday this year.

To be truthful, I never had a birthday party in my whole life, the real, honest to God birthday party with dress ups, invitations, dances, etc. Don’t get me wrong. I am not bitter about it. It is just the way it is. When I was younger, we didn’t have enough money for parties. And also, it was not in our family culture to celebrate events with a bang. Later on, it became too much of a hassle to organize them. Easier to just eat out with friends, have some food delivered in the office, buy yourself your own gift, etc.

But the suggestions of my friends were convincing. Why not, indeed? It would be nice to experience a party. True, I can be a sentimental fool. I would relish the fun time I had with friends and loved ones. With fondness, I would remember the people who came, especially those I haven’t seen in ages. But then, the practical in me realized that it couldn’t be a normal celebration. Yes, I get to feed some people some good food. I will receive various gifts. I may even be able to take home some left-over food. But I do not see a regular party to be in sync with my life mission to make a difference in someone else’s life. It just isn’t me. There should be something more than fun, food and gifts.

I’m half environmentalist. Half because I am not really doing anything much about my advocacies. I throw trash in the proper cans. I try not to waste water. I recycle paper and plastics (I know! I know! I shouldn’t even be using this!). And so I thought of doing a tree-planting birthday party. To make people aware that we need to plant new trees. To show them how I so love to breathe fresh air all day. But circumstances prevented me in pursuing this. The nearest place I can think of, Lamesa Dam, is quite far already to some people’s standards. Their planting area is 30 minutes away from the recreation area. Yes, I want my birthday celebration to have a purpose but I also want my guests to be comfortable.

And then, I get invited to the relaunching of Children’s garden. Halfway the program, it dawned on me that I have another option. To invest in the skills’ training of young boys. To help them acquire a future for themselves. My torn heart was swayed easily. I thought it more important right now to make a difference in these young lives.

In the office, I shared my plans to a friend who is also celebrating her birthday this month. Our decision? We cut in half the cost by sharing the expenses. We each bring in half the number of guests. For the same purpose. For the same goal. To raise enough funds for the boys to finsh school. The thirteen boys, anyway.

Here I am, half past midnight, still blogging and thinking. Wishing that all would go well come Sunday afternoon.

I just wish that some people wouldn’t give only half of what they promised to do.

But then, we can only hope for the best, despite our half ways. And pray that God would bless this event.

I know He will. God has never been the halfway kind.